The building of a SOLDIER Pt.1
Hi All, its a complete honor and priviledge thanks to Shawns Testimony to share my stories and know that they could be helping someone not to mention healing me in the process. To know me you have to understand past present and future
so I'll be blogging some real heartfelt stories over the next couple weeks and would love them to be shared to as many people as you can possibly touch. I never thought that anyone would want to know about me but after the outpour of love and support just
for speaking upon my own behalf it really stirred something in me that I can be a tool used to help my SC warriors, families, friends etc to remain strong no matter the mountain they may be facing and or climbing at this point. This experience im sharing is
to show God is able and faith the size of a mustard seed can REALLY move mountains.
Being a warrior with SC requires the ability to get acclimated quicker than others as well as triumph through all your adversities trials and tribulations while some peers are still wallowing in self pity and doubt instead of getting up and taking a stand. Now im not saying that we are better then ANYONE by all means ,what I AM saying is with this disease comes so MANY obstacles and often in rapid succession which leaves US to pick up the pieces of our broken life, bodies, pride , integrity etc and immediately start getting out our super glue and starting to put that puzzle right back together again even better than the first time, without even a second thought. This doesn't mean we arent scared or angry at times when the disease and life itself is a little much what it means is we arent afraid to fall, a scraped knee , or of a little pain, all that makes for thicker skin. SC really helps you see your strength and resilience when going through the toughest and most painful of times yet it humbles you,gives you the ability to identify what you should be doing, and what you were sent here to do all while there's hellfire and brimstone all around, we were built to withstand the most pressure and make it look easy. We can think and work through problems because of the sheer pain, we go through DAILY. Once you know and see that failure isn't an option because you believe in yourself and know God puts no more on you than you can bare and that you ARE a warrior you begin to change a situation thats so bad into a GREAT opportunity, you start having the thoughts of "hey ive been through worse I can do this thing called life." No matter the amount of times we fall, we stand right back up with our head high after EVERY stumble, crisis, mistake, etc. Overcoming your adversities has nothing to do with coming into a situation with all the courage, know how, being a super hero, or even how long you stay looking at the ground you have fallen upon. You overcome adversities by how quickly you can get up learn from any mistake that may have been overlooked and you give it another shot. No matter what we all know and cherish the true value of life first hand, terminal illnesses show you these things front and center and we learn and value the lessons as we often just don't have the same amount of time as others so we are always forced to get things very quickly. SC instills this in ALL of us warriors in pain, we cherish life, and want nothing more than whats "normal" of a "regular" person to have. We've been such good overcomers because this disease allows you and gives no choice but to bust through obstacles and believe in yourself when no one does. Its you, God, and you ONLY this teaches that we CAN and often supercede our own thoughts and goals for ourselves, I know this firsthand and began learning it way before adulthood.
One of the biggest adversities, that I've been through happened around the age of 19 (well a little before but after getting my diploma). Up until around this age my SC was the best it'd been in life since around 15 and I would work in the summer to make enough to do for myself. I have ALWAYS been extremely independent and loved the fact that even this young I could take care of myself and loved doing so. My first year in highschool (age 15) was great and I decided nows the time to get a REAL job and work during school. I figured I'll be doing this as an adult so I should get prepped and ready for adulthood lol. So there's a Burger king right across the street from my neighborhood AND I passed it daily walking home from school. Every day I would go in and talk to the manager I wanted him to know I was serious and that I wanted this job so bad and I could be a great asset to the BK chain. Only problem was I was still 15, well I didn't want him to forget about me so daily over 6 months or so I still came and talked to Lew the manager who finally said YES!!!( Talk about perseverance and dedication lol ) Idk if this was because he figured out I had 3.5 more years of school which is 3.5 more years of me tormenting him EVERY DAY at least that's with me going off to college if not he had years to come with good ole Nikki G. and he knew it. Or maybe he saw something in my persistence either way I GOT THE JOB!!! I was totally ecstatic and promised he wouldn't be sorry so as soon as I turned 16 I was hired on as a cashier. Now at this point in my life I must've thought I was super woman I went to school, honor society meets directly after the last bell, I went to cheerleading practice, and then walked to BK working from 5-10pm 5 days a week. I did my homework on break and had a boyfriend which would often come on my break to get in some quality time. I LOVED working and having my own independence, I bought ALL my own clothes, shoes, kept my nails and hair done, and paid my cell bill too (well technically my bf did but he wanted to I didn't ask, I had no issue paying for myself). Life was wonderful then 3 years later (age 18) I started becoming sick and not feeling like myself I go to the Dr and YEP im pregnant. It was SOOOO scary for me though over the next several months my pregnancy went fine and I was going to have a healthy young man I thought. 5 months in I got pretty sick and had to be hospitalized turns out I had an infection and a bad one. I stayed for one week and the drs said after that I was clear to go home. Now me JUST getting into the adult SC world with no help (pediatrics literally kicked me out and wouldnt even give me a referral for a new physician all because of me being pregnant). So first time taken care of as an adult and im getting ready to go home but notice they arent sending me home withANY antibiotics, I was NEVER even told I was a high risk pregnancy and wasn't getting the care I needed at that time I didn't know it though. I asked for antibiotics and explained my infections tend to come back at home without at least a few days continuation, they refused. A week later I have a fever I call the office and they say they can't see me for A WEEK!!!(UES a week with a high risk pregnancy ARGH;) So I tried to tough it out 3 days later I was so bad my boyfriend had to take me to the hospital. The Dr comes in and says "Ms Graham we're sorry to tell you but your son is deceased," ....
WHAT?!?!? No way I told them he was just moving and it was explained he was floating and had been for 2 days. I was CRUSHED not to mention I had to do 76 hrs of labor, no epidural, and oh they couldn't enduce for another 9 days due to me being in crisis so I held him for 11 DAYS deceased and went home with NO BABY!! (This is the short version I'll be making a video about this as its near and dear to my heart and if you want to learn more about the situation and the BABY FULL story comment and let me know it'll be posted to my newly created YOUTUBE PG).
After losing my son my body went CRAZY I was in the hospital every other week. I could now no longer work and felt like life had just been snatched from beneath my feet. In that time BK of course let me go but I didn't give up. I started looking to work from home being that my health was so bad I could BARELY leave it anyway and I knew I wouldn't be able to work an outside job in this condition. I did lots if research and came accross a company that started specifically for the disabled to work from home and I gave it a shot. Of course I was skeptical and everyone said its fake or I'll never see a check but I trusted my gut and God ...it paid off!! Within the next 6 weeks I completed training for a company in CA and did customer service ALL right in my house even the training and got paid bi weekly (while maintaining SSI I know some have trouble figuring this out, I did). It was like a little light at the end of a deep dark tunnel. I continued to work and learn the business I then actually did so well I became an affiliate of this company and started my own Incorporation a couple years later. I now actually help get people with and without disabilities REAL legitimate positions with fortune 500 companies all interested in having contractors learn their company via computer training and answering calls via their own house phone. I took that awful situation and the need to survive to push that mountain out of my way. My company to this day has a special place for those that want to work (EVEN WITH SSI or SSID). It's more than possible, as I said sometimes we even supersede our own expectations and with this I did. I've been affiliated in this business almost 10 years now and have NEVER worked for anyone BUT myself since the age of 18-19 believe it or not. God really has blessed me in my life though I've gone through some stuff but the good book says "To whom much is given much is required" and I understand it so much more now.
Remember NO matter what, God assigns your destiny and theres NOTHING you can do about it thats why the saying is "Your career is what youre paid for, but your calling is what you are made for" You are the ONLY you and there will NEVER be another. we ALL have a purpose and Its terrifying to face sometimes, especially when you don't quite know what it is just yet... but know that "courage is only the evolution of fear the aftermath is YOU in a triumphant victory" Turning bad into better and something GREAT! Once you really let go, know yourself and your SC and understand mistakes and pain will happen but still decide no matter what you'll ALWAYS get back up again. To think SC and fear starts the WHOLE process to greatness!
"Don't just look at the glass half empty remember there's still water in it."💯💜
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