LORRRDD IT IS ABOUT THAT TIME!

I have just 5 weeks left before I go in to
give birth to my beautiful baby girl. I must
admit I'm very much afraid. Due to all the
things I've gone through with this
pregnancy; the crisis, the transfusions, the
stress of my marriage ending and losing
my mother, & my active brain aneurysm, I
have neglected myself & my daughter
tremendously. Am I proud of that? No not
at all. Because I chose to give up & not
think of my daughter's needs she is only 4
pounds and I'm 34 weeks. I have needed
steroid shots to help her lungs develop
more, and my hemoglobin counts have
dropped. Now I'm in the process of trying
to play catch up on doctors appointments,
eating, and transfusions. My doctor is
concerned because of Sickle Cell & this
being my 3rd Cesarean that I may bleed a
lot. Truthfully that is one of my biggest
fears, bleeding to death.
This pregnancy has been so hard, it takes a
lot for me to just want to go on at times.
Although it's going on 2 months that my
mother passed & 4 months since my
husband left me I'm still mourning them
both. My days seem so long and my nights
even longer. On top of being tired from
being pregnant I'm mentally & emotionally
exhausted. All that makes it hard to be
mom to my boys, makes it hard to just be
me, Tarsha. I have come to the realization
that I will be raising 5 children as a single
mother and I'm trying to embrace that
gracefully. I'm also contemplating the fact
of relocating my family out of Houston. I
feel like after all that has happened I'm
ready to move on. As long as I'm here I will
continue to want what I can't have and that
is my family whole again.
The holidays are coming up and that in
itself will be new for the boys and I. See my
husband and I always got our families
together at the house and had a good time,
now I don't know what they will be like. My
daughter will be here by Christmas and
that alone is a reason to be in the holiday
spirit because she's my gift but its hard to
wrap my mind around it all. My husband
and I have always been together for the
holidays ever since we started dating.
October 25th this year would've made 7
years together. That date is the day we
went on our first date so imagine being
used to something and it all of a sudden
changes without warning?
Well since I've been pregnant I have only
been hospitalized 3 times. The first time
was at 8 weeks, the second time was at 20
something weeks, and just a couple weeks
ago. I find myself in a lot of pain now. Not
only is my daughter running out of room
inside, my body is feeling it more now that
before. My back & legs hurt constantly and
at times I can't move around as much as I
would like or as fast..lol! But I am doing my
best to hang in there, doing my best to just
hold on a little while longer. I do recognize
that I am blessed beyond measure & I am
so thankful to God for the good & the bad. I
guess God allows us to go thru things in
order to mold us into the men & women he
needs us to be. My relationship with the
Lord has very much improved and I find
myself meditating on him a lot more than I
used to. I just want this delivery to go
smooth as possible & I can bring my
daughter home and begin to walk in my
destiny. I know God has a plan, and
although I don't know what it is I am
anxious to receive it.

Once again I appreciate you all for your
continued support. I love all of you and
continue to keep me & my babies in your
thoughts and prayers.
Peace & Blessings to you all

WHAT NOW?!

What Now?

I went to see my dying mother on Friday September 4, 2015 where
she layed at my sister's house. It truly broke my heart to see my
mother in so much pain, I saw that the end was near. I had been in
denial I guess..trying to keep my faith in God, but his plan had
already been revealed to me months ago. I talked to her and let her
know how much I love her. Her eyes were closed but I know she felt
my presence. I just wanted to hear her voice, I wanted her to tell me
that everything would be ok. I never told my mother about what was
going on with my husband and I. It's been 2 months and he's still
gone with no intentions of coming home anytime soon. Even though
I am still hurt by that situation alone, I have to keep it moving for my
boys. But the whole time I stood over my mother sobbing I was
longing for her comfort, her wisdom, just for her to look at me but I
got nothing. I placed my face next to hers and I knew that this would
be the last time I would feel the warmth of my mother's face, that this
would be the last time I would be with her. I just kept telling her I
loved her..I didn't know what else to say.
On September 10, 2015 my mother left this world to be with her
maker. My sister called and said she saw my mother struggling to
breath..fighting to stay alive. My sister told our mother not to fight
anymore that she could go and about an hour later My sister said
She was gone. I hated to look at my phone and see My sister's
number calling me, I knew I would get that dreaded phone call one
day. I always thought it would be late in the midnight hour or early
before day light in the morning. My sister called me around 7pm that
day and I didn't pick up the phone. She called my son's phone after
that and I could see in my son's eyes what happened. I was hesitant
to grab the phone..my sister said what I had been fearing all my life
"Its done, she's gone." I couldn't do anything but scream and scream
and scream. I tried to prepare myself for this, I mean I knew it was
coming sooner than later, but there is no way to prepare to lose your
mom I guess. My young boys heard my cries from outside and they
became concerned. I walked in my home and my two 9 year olds
were hugging one another and sobbing. My oldest son was just
sitting there in the living room with no expression. I just grabbed my
boys into my arms and began to cry with them. Only thing I could
think of was that my unborn daughter will never know her
grandmother, she will never know the joy my mother brought to all of
us. I also couldn't help but think about how I wanted and needed my
husband, and how the boys needed the comfort of their father right
now. I called him and at first he didn't answer..so I texted him. He
called back and just listened to me cry. I could hear his emotion
through the phone but for some reason that wasn't enough for me, I
wanted him there with us, I needed his arms around all of us at that
moment. He talked to our sons in attempts to settle them down,
telling them everything will be ok and etc. The next day my husband
told me that once he hung up the phone all he could do is cry. I don't
know how true that is because my mother loved him so much and he
knows that. I didn't sleep that night, it's been hard to sleep many
nights. My unborn daughter just kicks and moves so much. She
moved all night that night, I know she felt the pain and hurt that I'm
feeling. It sucks because I have had the worst pregnancy and she
feels everything I feel and God knows I don't want to put that stress
on her.
I keep telling myself that my mother is gone so that my daughter will
live, and I will forever be grateful of that. My mother went out so my
daughter could come in. The same happened two years ago with my
son Aaidyn. My grandmother left us 2 months before his birth and
now mom. The past 2 years have been HELL. I know there's a
reason God is taking me through this storm and I know I will be
stronger once its over but going through it is so hard. I haven't been
to the doctor's I have just been in a blah idgaf way. I continue to ask
"why me?" I just can't understand it. But there's a reason for
everything I guess. Now I have to prepare to say goodbye to my
mother forever but honestly I already did that the day I saw her last.
With all this stress I have been blessed because I haven't gone into a
crisis (knock on wood), and I'm surprised by that. It just goes to
show that God will continue to keep us even when we can't keep
ourselves.
Thank you all for reading and supporting me during this time..I love u
all. Peace and Blessings.

  • ASK TARSHA

    Hey Family #SICKLECELL
    And #PREGNANCY and #STRESS is what our sis Tarsha @daoneandonlymrs is offering her knowledge and willing to share her experiences being A SYCKLED MOTHER/ #MOTHER2B. EVEN THOUGH THE DRAMA IN HER LIFE IS ON OVERLOAD...SHE IS STILL WANTING TO SHARE AND HELP ANYONE IN NEED! WE WILL ANSWER ALL QUESTIONS WITH THE BEST OF OUR ABILITIES..
    YOU CAN ASK RIGHT NOW. OR EMAIL HER IF YOU NEED PRIVACY. ..#ONELOVE

LOSING IT! JUST LOST...

Finding out I was having a daughter was
one of the best days of my life. I can't
begin to describe how excited I am to meet
her, but with every blessing comes
heartache. In the midst of me celebrating
the coming of my daughter, I have to
prepare to lose my mother. My mother was
diagnosed with stage four lung cancer
back in May and it has since spread to
other parts of her body. The doctors have
not given her long at all which is very
hurtful. Facing the reality of my mother not
being here to see her first and only grand
daughter is a hard pill to swallow. With me
going through the pain of having Sickle Cell
while pregnant and the pain of watching
my mother prepare to transition into
immortality, you would think that the love
and support of your spouse would be very
present. In my case that's not the case.
My husband has decided to leave his
family in the midst of the storm. Yes the
situation sucks because the one person I
thought had my back has chosen to
abandon me during a critical time in my
life. So now I'm dealing with A Syck
Pregnancy, A dying mother, and a broken
family. He has given me a bunch of
excuses as to why he's decided to leave,
he's tried to make me understand HIS point
of view and HIS feelings, but has not at all
considered mine or the children's. My
heart is very much broken and my mind is
very confused. I have gone into a deep
depression and I have lost myself
somewhere along the way. This ordeal is
much more difficult because I can't even
tell my mother what I am going through in
my marriage because her battle is so much
bigger than mine, but she senses
something. I went to visit her this past
Sunday. She was laying in her hospital
bed, and when she saw me enter the room,
all she could do is reach her arms out to
me. I climbed in her hospital bed and layed
on her chest and cried like a baby. I told
her that I didn't know what I was gonna do
without her. My mom just held me and
rubbed my head and mumbled "You will be
fine." As I cried she began to cry too and
said "You're strong." Its so amazing that
my mom is still able to be mom to me. I
truly needed that from her. She is at peace
with her situation and is ready to be with
the Lord. Its hard to be strong in this
situation, I try to trust God and pray that
things workout for the better, but the reality
of my circumstances are so messed up, its
hard to have that faith. I don't eat as I
should, I don't sleep most nights, I cry
uncontrollably all the time. I'm so
exhausted from my mind and emotions
being all over the place. I have 4 other
children to take care of and that has
become very difficult. Just to do everyday
activities has become difficult. Not only
due to body aches and occasional pains,
but due to the broken heart I have, my mind
state is on E. I cry at night, I cry during the
day, I find, myself crying most of the time.
My kids do very much understand what's
going on, at times they cry too. My oldest
son is 16, and he's just tired of seeing his
mother cry. He has been my strength, my
shoulder to cry on through all of this. My
husband and I have been together almost 7
years, we have been through a lot and
overcome so much, its very hard for me to
wrap my mind around why he would decide
to give up now. God has blessed us
tremendously and this baby girl was
something we wanted and for it all to end
now has cut me so deeply. At times if it
weren't for my kids I would kill myself
because I am losing everything that has
mattered to me most; my mom and my
family. Yes I know it sounds crazy but no
one knows the investment I have put into
my marriage. Nothing else in this world
mattered to me but being a wife and a
mother. I changed so many aspects of my
life and put my all into being what I felt my
family needed. Now it has all just blown up
in my face and I am lost. I have to prepare
to raise my children alone, prepare to
spend holidays alone and give birth alone.
I have to one day explain to the son and
daughter we share together why we
couldn't make it last for them. I don't look
forward to none of that, especially because
now I have to look forward to burying my
mother with no support from my husband.
I feel like I'm in a bad dream, my spirit is
broken, and I don't even know how to begin
to pick up the pieces of my life. I know I
may sound crazy because I don't seem to
have the strength to move on but its not
that simple. But I still remain faithful and I
still remain optimistic in my marriage
because we have gotten through so much
already, I don't see why this would be any
different. I try to be positive about it all and
know that he will come back to us one day.
I feel so out of place and incomplete, I gave
my all and now I have nothing left for
myself. As I begin to look at the big picture
I do realize that my children need me, I do
realize that life does go on and I also
realize that I must begin to put the pieces
of my life back together. I have exhausted
all efforts in trying to get my husband to
reconcile. I have fought for our marriage
wholeheartedly I'm all out of options, all out
of pleas. At times when I think Im all out of
tears, they manage to fall anyway. After I
praise and thank God daily for who He is
and what He's already done in my life, my
request is that He restore my family, that
He bring my husband back. Whether its
next week, next month, next year, I just
want my family back. The house isn't the
same, the kids aren't the same and my life
will never be the same. I never pictured
myself raising four kids on my own. Even
though my husband isn't in the household,
my 9 year old stepson is by his choice. He
wanted to remain in his home with his
family, the only family he's had since age
2. I have no problem with raising him
because in my eyes he is mine. So after I
have my daughter I will have 5 kids and no
husband, that is so embarrassing. Every
child I had biologically was because I was
with their fathers long enough and
assumed that the relationship would last. I
had two kids entering into this marriage, I
vowed to myself that I wouldn't have any
more kids unless I was married. My 1st
two boys are 7 years apart for that reason .
I got married and we loss two babies trying
to have one and God blessed us in 2013
with Aaidyn. With all these boys we longed
for a daughter and God granted our request
so why my husband has chosen to make
such a devastating decision has me going
insane. I know marriages have their ups
and downs, I know it takes work and two
people who are committed to making it
last. Through all my imperfections I am
still learning, I am a work in progress. If my
actions have caused my husband to leave I
am deeply in regret. Although I am working
on me to correct whatever is the problem,
he won't even consider giving me a chance
to right my wrong. Don't get it twisted, he
has done some messed up things recently
that caused me to not think and just act
which has caused our current separation
but I realize each and everyday that he also
has to want what I want, he also has to be
willing and unfortunately at this time we
don't see eye to eye.
My recent doctors appointment wasn't so
good. I'm behind on my transfusion
schedule, I haven't gained any weight and
my mental state is in IDGAF mode. I've
been seeing a psychiatrist and having
therapy sessions to find some peace of
mind, but the shyt just isn't working for me
at the moment. They want to put me on all
type of psycho meds to help improve my
mood but I do not feel like they will be safe
for my daughter. My doctors feel like I am
safer taking them than not taking them, I
beg to differ. No matter what I am doing or
not doing, my daughter seems to thrive
anyway. She moves and karate kicks me
and I take it as her letting me that SHE is
here for me. When I'm at my lowest, which
is often these days, she makes her
presence known. I'm sure she hurts
because I hurt, and I don't want that for
her.
I know you all are wondering why I have
the current attitude and mind frame that I
do? Why have I just chosen to give up
because of a MAN? Why have I chosen to
go to such a dark place? Well honestly
because I have always been in a dark
place, I have always had self esteem issues
and feelings of worthlessness thoroughout
my whole life. When I met my husband, I
was living a dangerous life, I was not giving
a care about anything I was living like I
wanted to die. But I met a man who loved
me so much, a man who loved me even
though I didn't know how to love myself.
I'm still learning to love myself. He kept me
safe, he made me stop all the reckless
behavior and grounded me. That's why I
say he is my hero, he saved my life. Our
age difference wasn't a factor at that time
but now I believe it is playing a huge part in
some of his decision making. The reality of
it is that my husband has lost that
unconditional love for me, and I thought
that is what I had in him a love just as God
loves us. I know I have that kind of love for
him, no matter what, and I pray one day he
will see what a gem he has in me because I
am a good woman, a rose growing out of
concrete and I'm worth fighting for.
I thank you for reading this, I pray there is
no judgment or criticism. I appreciate all
the love and support you all have
continued to show me throughout my
whole pregnancy. Please continue to keep
me and my entire family in your thoughts
and prayers. Prayer can change things!!
Stay tuned for more!!

A TICKING TIME BOMB

For 100% of my life, I have had this thing
called Sickle Cell Anemia. There is a
difference between Sickle Cell Trait,
Anemia, Disease, and Beta. Me I have SS
which is Anemia which is the worse there
is. Well although I have suffered Crisis a
lot in my lifetime and when that happens it
seems like every part of me is being hit
with a demolition ball, except my head. I
can not recall ever having a headache
during a crisis or for that matter anytime in
my life except once. The one severe
headache I did have was when I had
Bacterial Meningitis and I was 20 years
old. So in 2011 I began having these
headaches that would occur off and on.
Headaches that I had never felt before,
headaches that felt like a drill going in my
head and behind my right eye. These
headaches would last sometimes 20 to 30
minutes at most and some would last
maybe 5 minutes, it varies. Well in
February of 2012 I was hospitalized for the
usual Sickle Cell Crisis, its expected at
least once a year, that's my normal. So
when the doctors did their screenings and
etc, I complained of a headache. Well, the
questions began "How long, How Severe,
Do I normally have them" etc. Well I said
No and that this was a new thing for me
and a CT Scan was ordered. Was I
nervous? Yes! Did I expect the worst? No!
My paternal grandmother had tumors on
her brain and they were removed when I
was a child but they came back 20 some
odd years later. I did take that into
consideration but wasn't sure. Well after
the CT, an MRA was ordered, I knew it had
to be something because of the second
test. Later on that night a team of doctors
approached my bedside and said "Mrs.
Edwards, you have a brain aneurysm, we
want to do another test in the morning
where we sedate you, go through the artery
in your thigh to your brain and take more
thorough pictures of the aneurysm." You
know I was buggin right?! The first thing I
thought was "I'm gonna die!". You hear
about people dropping dead all the time
and not knowing why until the autopsy
reveals an aneurysm, I had a friend in
college die from one so I'm scared right
now. The cold part is that the doctors
could not tell me when, why, or how! I
came to the conclusion that there was no
telling how long I had been living with this
Time Bomb in my brain but so thankful that
I was allowed to find it before it ruptured
and killed me. So the next morning I took
the test, it was very scary. The only thing I
felt was the dye that was injected into my
brain, it felt like my head was on fire!!! So
after all of that I was told that my aneurysm
is about 3mm and is located at the base of
my brain. I was not able to get it treated or
repaired in that moment because I didn't
have the proper insurance. I was told once
my Medicare kicks in to come back. I
know, crazy right?!
Well I have been seeing a Neurosurgeon
since in found out about it. He has been
closely monitoring it and making sure it is
stable and not growing. When I was
pregnant in 2013, I had been seeing my
doctor and I just saw him again two weeks
ago. He said that there has been no
change in my brain thus far. Although I
still have headaches at times, I am not in
danger of a rupture. Once I deliver my
baby, he wants to see me 3 months after to
discuss repairing it. I have 2 choices; I can
have it clipped which involves an invasive
brain surgery or I can have it pipeline coiled
which involves the same procedure going
through the artery in my leg. Either way it
is brain surgery, one is less invasive than
the other. Ultimately the choice is not up to
me, its up to the surgeon. I pray he
chooses the less evasive approach, but it
all depends on the position and other
things, I'm sure him and my hematologist
will figure it out. The only down side to that
is after surgery I may have to learn certain
things over again, basic stuff. Some
simple tasks my become difficult for me. I
am afraid but here is when I have to
continue putting my faith into practice.
Every minute of everyday is a gift to me
because I know if this bomb goes off, my
life could be over if I'm not taken to a
hospital immediately. I have trouble
sleeping sometimes, either I am in pain
from Sickle Cell or I'm just afraid to go to
sleep because I may not wake up if this
thing bursts in my brain. I can't imagine
that happening..my husband not
knowing,just thinking I'm asleep. I had to
tell my 16 year old son that if I'm not up at
a certain time, because I'm an early bird at
times, come see about me. No one wants
to have to tell their child that but its my
reality.
I did a little research of my own and my
aneurysm is in NO WAY Sickle Cell related.
So I really wanted to know where it came
from. I read that you can get an aneurysm
due to several different things, head trauma
and cocaine abuse are two of those
reasons. Well after reading that I knew
why, and unfortunately I was on cocaine
back in my young life for at least 5 years.
During those 5 years of drug abuse, I was
also being physically, mentally and
emotionally abused. I was being hit,
punched, and sometimes kicked in my
head. And that was such a low time in my
life, cocaine was my numbing medication.
You know you don't think of the long term
affects of what you think gives you
pleasure for the moment, you are only
thinking of the present. Well I couldn't do
nothing but cry of course, saying how
dumb of me, how could I have been so
stupid, how I brought this on myself, I was
so disappointed in ME, but I had to start
thinking of the silver lining in this cloud
which was IM STILL HERE!! God has kept
me thus far, even when I was a fool and
didn't take care of myself God kept me, he
took care of me! When I didn't have the
courage to leave that toxic relationship he
removed it from me and blessed me with
my husband, the man I say saved my life
besides God through Jesus Christ. This
was no time to have a pity party, this was a
time to rejoice because God is Good and IM
STILL HERE!!
This Ticking Time Bomb that I have been
living with teaches me not to take this life
for granted, to enjoy the moment, every
moment. I want to be with my husband
and kids most of the time because I think
every second could be when this bomb
goes off. I just continue to ask God to
grant me grace and mercy and strength to
keep on keeping on.

Thank you again for reading and
supporting me! Peace and Blessings to all
of you, I love you!

THE BEAT OF MY HEART

I had my last doctors appointment about 3
weeks ago. I am always excited to go and
hear my baby's heart beat because my
baby is not yet bIG enough for me to feel
movement. So as usual I went through the
whole routine of getting my urine checked,
weight ,blood pressure and etc. Finally the
nurse got the Doppler and put it on my
abdomen to hear that heart beat. If I tell
you that sound is the most reassuring
sound, its like the sweetest melody I could
ever hear. I have been quite nervous about
this pregnancy since day one and I have
been through so much since day one its
crazy. I'm so stressed and frustrated I
have yet to gain any weight..smh. My
doctor has had me meet with a nutritionist
who says that I must eat at least 2000
calories a day!! For a person like me that
seems so impossible. For those of you who
don't know, I am a Stoner, and smoking
weed has been very beneficial to me in
many ways over the years. One of those
benefits is that my appetite is increased,
but due to my present circumstances, me
smoking weed is not in the cards, so
therefore my appetite is not near what it
used to be. And the new stress in my life
isn't helping either. So because of my age,
my doctor has informed me that I have a
high risk of having a Down syndrome
baby. Like any other mother in my
position I became afraid of the
possibilties. I took a series of blood tests
two weeks prior to this appointment that
have not yet come back so I am very
frustrated. As always my doctor asks me
"Do you have any questions or concerns? "
I told her yes, that I am afraid. My doctor
looked at me and said "I'm scared too, we
all are!" Definitely not the comment I was
expecting from her ya know. I can't lie, I
was looking for some type comfort,
encouragement even but didn't get it. All I
could do is put my head down and pray
silently to myself.

> As I went home those words played over
in my head. My biggest fear is to leave my
boys behind trying to have this baby. I'm
all they have and I just can't see God doing
that to them, especially since my oldest
son lost his father when he was only 6
years old in 2005. I can only continue to
take care of us and pray for the best
outcome possible. With that on my mind
and the down syndrome situation, my
stress level is on 10. Why is this test
taking so damn long to come back?? Is
there another abnormalty that I'm not
aware of?? She said it would've been back
by now. I'm just gonna call the genetic
counselor and see if she does have it and
just hadn't entered it into the system yet.
Well I left a message however and just had
no choice but to wait. What will I do if the
baby does have a chromosomal
abnormality? What will my husband say?
How will I possibly care for the baby??
Termination nor adoption are an option. I
guess I will cross that bridge when its time,
just go about your day. Well about 3 hours
later the genetic counselor returned my call
with a long explanation of the different
tests performed and my options if
something is wrong. On pins and needles,
she finally says that all is well,my baby
tested negative for all chromosome
abnormalities!! What a breath of air that
was because I felt like I couldn't breathe
the entire time I waited for results! I also
took a blood test that determines gender,
the test I've also been waiting on...(drum
role). She spoke the words I've been dying
to hear for 16 years (the age of my oldest
son) ITS A GIRL!!! I must have hit the roof!
This right here is the blessing I have been
waiting for. Don't get me wrong, I love my
boys and wouldn't change a thing, but
come on..I wanted a mini me of my own
too! A beautiful little girl that I can raise to
be an awesome young lady, a cut above
the rest, not apart of the stereotype.
There's a lot of testosterone in my
house..lol! As much ad I love being the
Queen of my castle, my little empress will
take the cake. It is a must I fight, it is a
must that I do all I can to be positive,
motivated, and stress free. At this point I'm
on cloud 9 but reality surely does know
how to slap your behind back down. y
goals at the moment are to relax, eat, keep
my head up and remain faithful. Its all in
Gods hands now, my husband and I have
done all we can in this process. I'm so
anxious for her to move now that I am 16
weeks. Besides doctors visits,movement is
the only other way to tell if baby is OK. The
worst thing ever has to be carrying a baby
who's heart has stopped and u not know it.
> Thank you again for reading, and peace
and blessings to you all.

TWO LINES

On April 20, 2015 I found out that I was
having yet another baby. It was a bitter
sweet moment honestly. My husband and
I have talked about having another child,
but I didn't think that it would happen so
soon after my 1 year old was born. Waiting
on that home pregnancy test to reveal what
I had already thought seemed to take
ages. When the results came back
positive, I screamed in horror, because for
me it was like I had been sentenced to
DEATH! During my last pregnancy my
hematologist basically warns me saying
"This should be my last pregnancy, NO
MORE BABIES!" And honestly that was my
plan but when it came time to get my tubes
tied, I chickened out because I had hopes
of a daughter one day. When that test
showed 2 lines instead of one, I called out
to my husband shaking and crying. He
was happy as any happily married man
would be but, once he asked me why
wasn't I sharing this moment with him, I
replied "I'm going to die I don't want to
die!" He immediately held me tight and
cried with me telling me not to say such
things, saying no I won't, I will be fine, he
has so much planned for our lives, our
children need me and so on. All those
things ran across my head also but I
couldn't get my mind past the fact of this
pregnancy could mean my life. I had a
cousin who died giving birth at 16 and she
was perfectly healthy. Its something you
hear about at times, a perfectmy healthy
mother who had a non high risk perfectly
healthy pregnancy dying in labor. The
thought of me losing my life in order to give
life is very frightening. I never felt this
feeling before with my other children, and
that is strange to me. I pray that all goes
well for me and my lil one, because God
only knows I can't imagine having this
baby and leaving it to never have known
me. I guess that's why I'm choosing to
speak up now and share my experience
with you all, in case worse comes to worse
this baby will know the strength of his/her
mom and that I am a fighter and I will not
go down without a fighting chance. I
realize you can only roll the dice so many
times before you crap out, I'm praying for
my last 7/11, then game over. I asked my
doctor Jesus along with my earthly doctors
to allow me to perform one more miracle
one last time. So please continue to keep
reading, ask questions, and pray for me
and my entire family for peace in what ever
God's Will will be. Thank you for reading
and for supporting me I love you!

360° DEGREES WITH TARSHA E AND HER SYCK PREGNANCY

I was born Tarsha Darriel Arceneaux and I
am a Sickle Cell warrior. I am 35 years
young happily married to my hero Willie
Edwards and blessed with three beautiful
sons of my own and two stepsons. I was
diagnosed with Sickle Cell Anemia at birth.
Both my parents were unaware that they
had sickle cell trait, my birth was their
defining moment. They were told that I
was really sick and their 4 pound little girl
wouldn't see two years old. BUT GOD!
As a child I knew I had a disease but didn't
know the ins and outs of it. I got sick at
times and had to be hospitalized but I
bounced back pretty fast. I was fortunate
to have a normal childhood. I was a Girl
Scout a little league cheerleader and I
played sports. In high school I was in the
marching band, JROTC, I was very
active. The first 18 years of my life were
transfusion free, thanks to my grandma's
prayers. At 19 I had my first child without
complications thankfully but had to receive
my 1st transfusion shortly after delivery. It
was during this pregnancy I found out that
my spleen was no more. It basically
disappeared. 6 months after giving birth I
got sick and was on the brink of death and
needed my gallbladder removed I was
misdiagnosed 5 times before they got it
right.had developed gallstones. My second
pregnancy was very much worse than the
1st. I was 7 years older and Sickle Cell
started making my body work against me.
I had a crisis almost every month along
with preterm labor as early as 4 months in.
It had gotten so bad I had to have portable
oxygen as well as a portable Terbutaline IV
that I wore the last 3 months of my
pregnancy to control my preterm labor; this
was in 2006. I learned that this drug is not
FDA approved. In February 2011, the Food
and Drug Administration has ordered to put
a boxed warning on the drug's label.
Pregnant women should not be given
injections of the drug terbutaline for the
prevention of preterm labor or for long-term (beyond 48–72 hours) management
of preterm labor, and should not be given
oral terbutaline for any type of prevention
or treatment of preterm labor "due to the
potential for serious internal heart
problems and death." I'm so thankful that
my baby and I were not affected. Due to
other complications in labor I had to have
an emergency C Section with my baby.
Pregnancy number 3 was strongly
discouraged by my hematologist. When I
told him I was pregnant he advised me to
terminate my pregnancy due to the
complications that could arise because of
Sickle Cell. It never crossed my mind!! I
told him to do his job and I will do my part
and God will take care of the rest. I had
multiple crises throughout the pregnancy
so my doctor put me on a transfusion
program to help the baby and I so I
received blood transfusions every 4
weeks. It did help, however I was not able
to deliver naturally as I had hoped. I had 2
failed epidurals and my hemoglobin was
dropping and my blood pressure was
dangerously low.

with labor pain, I was in crisis during labor
so once again I had to have an emergency
C Section and was transfused during and
after surgery. But I'm thankful because I
had an awesome OB/GYN who specialized
in Sickle Cell in pregnancy along with my
hematologist working together, we made it
through.
Well here it is a year and 10 months later
and I am on my fourth and FINAL
pregnancy. I must admit I am a little
nervous. Reason 1 is because I waited 7
years in between my 1st 2, so I feel like I
gave my body time to heal and
recooperate. This my first time being
pregnant one behind the other. This time
my hematologist is not discouraging me
but he has the"Your life not mine...Hate to
say I told you so" type of attitude. He feels
like I am gambling with my life, and I must
be truthful, I am because having Sickle Cell
type SS and being pregnant can be deadly.
Some women have no change in their
disease during pregnancy, while others
may have a worsening disease. Sickle cell
crises may still occur in pregnancy and
may be treated with medications that are
safe to use during pregnancy. Pre-existing
kidney disease and congestive heart failure
may worsen during pregnancy, even with
proper treatment.
How does sickle cell disease affect
pregnancy? The risks for pregnancy
depend on whether the mother has sickle
cell disease or sickle cell trait. Generally,
women with sickle cell trait are not at
increased risk for problems, however, they
may experience frequent urinary tract
infections. It is also important to remember
that, unlike sickle cell anemia, a woman
with sickle cell trait can have iron deficient
anemia while pregnant and may need iron
supplementation for this reason.The ability
of the blood cells to carry oxygen is
especially important in pregnancy. The
sickling and anemia may result in lower
amounts of oxygen going to the fetus and
slowed fetal growth. Because sickling
affects so many organs and body systems,
women with the disease are more likely to
have complications in pregnancy.
Complications and increased risks for the
mother may include, but are not limited to
infection, including urinary tract (especially
kidney) and lungs. Gallbladder problems
including gallstones, Heart enlargement
and heart failure from anemia and Death.
Complications and increased risks for the
fetus may include, but are not limited to,
the Severe anemia, Miscarriage,
Intrauterine growth restriction (poor fetal
growth)Preterm birth (before 37 weeks of
pregnancy)Low birthweight (less than 5.5
pounds)Stillbirth and newborn death. Also,
I'm much older and in fair health, but I'm
not niave to the Syck reality that me and
my unborn child's life are on the line.
I pray that all goes well with this
pregnancy. I will be taken care of by the
same team of doctors that monitored my
previous pregnancy. I will be transfused
every 3 weeks, and closely monitored by
my OB, my Hematologist, and my
Neurosurgeon. Why a neurosurgeon you
ask?? Well I was diagnosed with a brain
aneurysm in 2012 that is currently still
active in my brain. Yes its alot!!
I hope that my chronicles will help
someone, encourage many, and
discourage none. There are risks with a lot
of things that may be simple to a healthy
individual, but when it comes to living with,
Sickle Cell Anemia any simple situation can
become serious and even deadly.
I look forward to letting you in this piece
of my life and hopefully I can make a
difference for someone who may not think
its possible to have a healthy baby and a
thriving life after a Syck Pregnancy.
Stay tuned, its gonna be a great learning
adventure! Peace and Love Fellow
Warriors.

Sickle Soldier Tarsha Edwards will chronical her pregnancy with us so please give her some love and feel free to ask questions..

Parents Able to save cord blood! By Nita Thompson

Thinking about all of the people who have fought for America's freedom, then I started thinking about the kind of life Americans live lead me to this:

Why is it many people still don't know that:

1) There are FREE cord blood banks to donate newborns leftover fluids to? All the parents have to do is plan it before the 34 week!
parentsguidecordblood.org

2) Marrow/stem cells from donors ages 18-44 make up 90% of the matches for those who need a transplant?
Bethematch.org

If you knew methods that could save a life but don't let people know, is that not considered murder?

Tarsha is also a part of the phenomenal BOLD LIPS FOR SICKLE CELL team.

 Official #BoldLipsForSickleCell t shirts now available for #PreSale!!!!! As you see we have #designs for both our #lady and #guy #supporters!!!!!!!! Head to to #order yours now!!!!!! $25.00. Also these have no deadline for sale. They are available on our site. So #please get you one or two or three! Lol!!!! @boldlipsforsicklecell #teamsicklecell #sicklecellgear #OfficialBLFSCApparel #GetYoursNow #SickleCellAwareness #SickleCellSwag #boldlipsrockout

THE SYCKEST COMPLICATIONS

8 Weeks into my pregnancy which was
exactly 2 weeks after I saw those "2 lines" I
went into a Sickle Cell Crisis. To be honest,
this was the first time that I had one this
early in pregnancy so it scared me as well
as my doctors. At admission my
hemoglobin was at an 8.2, so I was just
being monitored for my pregnancy and
pain management. Well the next day I
began to see and feel signs of miscarriage.
Its a very scary thing to go through
because no one wants to find out they are
pregnant to lose a baby shortly after, I
should know, its happened to me before.
Due to these new symptoms my
hemoglobin dropped to 6.0, and my blood
pressure was in the mid 80s. After 2 units
of blood I was still having pain and
complications with my baby. So I was in
the hospital for a total of 7 days only to
have to go back two days later. Once I got
home I had complications eating and
keeping it down, even water. I threw up so
much I was very dehydrated. I tried home
remedies because I didn't want to go back
but I had no choice because I was very
concerned about my unborn child. I still
was having cramps and bleeding so I went
back.
I know most of you have seen the
commercials about Zofran and how it
causes birth defects am I right?? Well
when I got back to the ER for my 2nd "go
round" the nurse came in with 2 little white
pills that she said would dissolve on my
tongue. I asked what kind of pills were
they and she said "ZOFRAN!" I asked her
had she seen the commercials showing the
lawsuits taking place because of the birth
defects Zofran can cause, and she said
"No" she had not seen any commercials. I
thought well maybe she's at the hospital
more than she is at home so she may not.
I refused to take them and she was like OK,
fine! I called for the doctor and asked him
for something else and once again he
didn't know about the affects of Zofran
either. I couldn't understand how this was
an OB/GYN and that this hospital is for
nothing but having babies and other
"woman" complications, yet no one had
heard of what I'm talking about??!! Well of
course by then I was very pissed off and
still sick. About an hour had passed and
the same nurse came in with a valve of
medication to put in my IV and I asked
"What is that?" and she said "Zofran!"
Please know I went ballistic!! I called the
patient liason and family advocacy to
request another doctor because my doctor
was off for the weekend. After I did that
about another half hour goes by and here
comes this same nurse, this time with a
huge needle. She sat next me and quietly
said "I just got a call from the patient
liaison and family advocacy saying that
you called them complaining that you had
been here 7 hours with no relief, and that
we are trying g to force you to take
medication that would harm your baby, is
this true?" I replied "Yes, I did call them."
She said "I personally don't think the doctor
would order medications that would be
harmful to you or your baby, but since you
feel that way, the order has changed. The
doctor has ordered you to get Phenergen,
(which is also a nausea medication)and he
doesn't want it IV because it burns the
veins (which it does) so he has ordered for
you to get it IM (In the Muscle)." She gave it
to me in my hip and I promise she went to
the bone because she jabbed that needle
so hard and so far off into my body I let out
a loud scream. As a Sickler I have become
tolerant to a lot of pain but that pain I felt
was not only from the needle and the
burning of the medication entering my
body, but I also felt the anger from the
nurse. I don't see why she would have
been upset but I cried like a baby after she
left because I felt like " Was I wrong for
refusing medications that would potentially
harm my unborn baby?" Was I wrong for
calling someone to intervene on my
behalf? All that was on my mind was
"What did I do to deserve this?"
Long story short I spent an extra 4 days in
the hospital being monitored and
hydrated. This was a very scary and
unpleasant experience that I wouldn't wish
on my worst enemy. But don't feel bad for
me, I'm not a victim I am a VICTOR
because God will prevail, he always does.
Thank you again for taking the time out to
read my story and supporting me through
my journey it means so much, you have no
idea. Peace and Blessings and I love all of
you!

On May 28, 2015 6:55 AM, "Tarsha
Edwards"