I NEED TO SAY IT....
Yes...I have so many journals and recordings to help me REMEMBER because Sickle Cell is just so ruthless and I was painfully accepting the judgement of people thinking that I didn't care for them or their time instead of just saying I FORGOT/I DIDN'T REMEMBER bc the truth sounds so flaky. SICKLE CELL IS SO CRUEL AND RUTHLESS...I AM DOING THIS TRIAL (http://curec.lk/2npFawV) because I am so tired of the feeling of fear of what my FUTURE holds. I am freaking 45 y'all! This has been going on for about 5yrs and I don't want to not know my kids. I am sorry for my emotions but I can't ask you to share if I won't. Sooo please share guys!
The folks who read my posts often can always tell when something is going sideways with me. They are the ones that reach out and ask "You Good"...Well I love you guys for that and yes you right! I am so dealing with trying to REMAIN professional while advocating for a fellow soldier. Even though the #Mistreatment was aimed at another...I STILL felt some type of way when witnessing the ignorance. Like I was telling @chazaqah As a person you don't want to sit here and admit that they have that effect on you and it is still bothering you to this day but it's the truth. I can get emotional thinking about it because the treatment was unwarranted and I didn't understand at that was going on. I thought I was doing something wrong because they were the professionals. I thought I was losing my mind because it was how the professional made me feel and they kept telling me that it couldn't be that bad and kept telling me that it's in my head and they kept telling me that it's not my sickle cell bc the blood work came back great.
THAT ignorance is like body punches to the soul. Can you not understand why a Sickle Cell patient may seem untrusting, hostile or a little rude? When you get burned like that...why would we go back into the fire?
WE HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO GO BACK BECAUSE THIS ILLNESS AIN'T NO JOKE AND IT'S DAMAGING WHILE I TYPE.
So yes it's FRUSTRATING for us and we may exude all of that when I see a nurse or doctor I don't know.
I know that the trauma is hard to forget bc it cuts within but I do try.
IT'S STILL THERE THOUGH...
I call it the #SickleCell #PTSD.